You Have No Birthday Because You Have Always Lived

It's nice to be remembered on your birthday because after all that is the day you came into this world. You have made one more rotation around the sun so to speak, hopefully you are wiser and of course it is a great to be with loved ones who care about you on your special day.

A friend came to visit me about a month after Daryl had transitioned from this life. (I have decided that I really don't like the word died, or even passed away) I was having a hard day. I was really sad. I was missing him and confused about how to connect with him now. It all seemed so final. She said to me, "you will feel him and you will see him in the details of your life and your girls. Remember... to our Father in heaven Daryl has always existed and he still does." Those words were and still are very comforting to me.

We decided to head to one of Daryl's favorite places on his birthday this year. The Lake!

Lake Cascade- Donnelly, Idaho 

This was a place that his family went every chance they could. When Daryl and his brother Ken were adopted in the summer of 1971 they got to experience life at the lake. A place where a boy could roam around all day long, spend the day on the beach at the lake, swimming, fishing, catching frogs, water skiing on a lake of glass, only going up to the cabin to grab a bite to eat. Daryl told me that this was the place he felt the most safe as a young boy.  A place where he could get lost in thought and wake up by just a sliver of the morning sunlight coming through the window in the upstairs loft. He told me, he loved to pile on the blankets adding to his safety and security. Interesting that now research has discovered that sleeping with a weighted blanket helps in our production of serotonin and melatonin assuring a better nights sleep, helping us feel hugged or held, which supports Daryl's love language-touch.

The first time I got invited to the cabin on the lake I was 17 years old. I could tell that this was a special place for him. He was so excited and happy to share it with me, and wanted me to see him in
his element. He was excited to show me the retaining wall he had helped his Dad build and impress me with his water skiing skills. Which he did! It was always fun to watch him!

He looked forward to the day he could be married and have another generation of children come to the lake and enjoy the peace and serenity found there. As soon as we would arrive you could feel the pace of life slow done, another reason Daryl loved being there each year for a week. A much needed getaway to recharge. For years that is the summer vacation we had. It was so much fun, all being together playing at the lake for hours. As the girls got older, I thought they would grow tired of the same vacation each year but they didn't.

"On the lake - one of my favorite places in the world. Look in the lense of my left eye and you can see the sunset, mountains and the glassy lake perfect for water sports."   Daryl- summer 2009 

We started adding a few more traditions to our trip, Huckleberry bars from this cute little bakery on main street and going to Gold Fork hot springs.

If you ever go to Donnelly, Idaho- you must stop here right on main street

Gold Fork hot springs tucked away about 7 miles off of highway 55 in Donnelly, Idaho

We thought the cabin on the lake would last forever but it didn't. I think it was about 5 or 6 years ago Daryl's parents got rid of it. My son in law Erik contacted the new owners and explained our situation. They invited us to come on the property to enjoy the lake. We had a great afternoon reflecting on memories of Daryl and of course eating huckleberry bars. Daryl spent countless hours  driving the boat for the girls and their cousins tubing, water skiing and he loved every minute of it!

Kenneth, Natasha, Karla, Alexa, Kohlmann, MacKenzie, Dan, Erika, Erik 

We are time bound but Daryl no longer is. That's why I chose the title I did for this blog. The words taken from a book my sister Kristi gave me. I imagine he no longer celebrates birthdays, but that is still our reminder as we are in a different realm and view his birthday as a chance to reflect, share memories, laugh and cry. "You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow-adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are." Richard Bach

A must read for grieving the loss of a loved one. 

Our lives are like a three act play. We are born in act two and leave (transition) in act two. We have no recollection of our pre-earth life (act one) and don't really know and completely understand what happens next. (act three) What we do here in act two is pretty important. My belief is that the most important thing we do here is to learn how to love. Love unconditionally the way Jesus Christ loved. What that love looks like to me is many opportunities to put another person's needs and wants before my own, to apologize over and over and forgive over and over.

Every relationship should kayak together!

"Fly free and happy beyond birthdays and across forever, and we'll meet now and then when we wish, in the midst of the one celebration that never can end." - Richard Bach