Parenthood

Isn't life a miracle? I remember each of my pregnancies and the incredible miracle it was to give birth after nine months of anticipation. What a honor it is to grow a human life that was created out of love two people share. The days, weeks, months and years after that are pretty incredible too. When Daryl and I were engaged we talked about having a family one day. He wanted six kids (that terrified me) I wanted four. As time went on he decided that four was a good number. Not because our four were hard, quite the opposite. There is a lot that goes into raising a family, their needs are both financial  and emotional. Our desire to be the best parents for our children was not a new concept. I believe every couple wants their children to experience life to the fullest. When you hold your newborn baby for the first time you realize this little human life is now completely dependent upon me. There is nothing quite like that little newborn cry. You forget all of those labor pains it took to get them here.
Welcome Baby Mads! I hope you got some good advice from Papa D before you joined us.

Mads Forest Mikkelsen 

Saturday, September 29th I was out for a morning jog, I was headed home coming down some stairs in a gulley walkway when I received the text and saw the beautiful picture of baby Mads  and Erika. I had to stop, sit down and cry tears of joy and sorrow. Joy for the miracle of new life, for the journey Erika and Erik had begun and sorrow that Daryl was not with us to be part of his life here. A flood of memories came to my mind. When Erika was born she had to be in the NICU for a week due to developing group b strep. It was really a scary time for us. After that first week when we could take her home, Daryl was the one who administered her medication through her IV for the next week.


I love this picture! He is being so gentle with her, if you look close, you can see the tubing from her IV. They are both looking at each other with such wonder and awe. "I will protect you, provide for you, teach you, allow you to be you, to make mistakes and most of all, love you."

Daryl & Erika September 1987

Natasha- Daryl- MacKenzie  August 1989

I'll never forget the reaction Daryl had twenty months later when we were at the ultrasound for our second baby. I was about five months along. The technician said, "you defiantly are having twins." We both thought she said you defiantly aren't having twins. Hearing the word twins I had to ask her to repeat what she said. She confirmed that, yes there are two babies I can see and she showed us. Daryl had to sit down!! haha! When we left from the ultrasound he turned the wrong way out of the parking lot. When I asked him where he was going he realized what he had done and told me he couldn't think straight after receiving the news of twins! He said to me, "Do you realize we are going to be out numbered!?"  For the longest time the girls fit perfectly in his arms as shown from this picture.

Alexa & Daryl 1994

The more children that come into your life the more comfortable you get in your role as a parent as you can see in this picture with Alexa.

We always wanted our girls to feel safe and loved no matter what kind of mistakes they made. We wanted them to be able to voice their opinions, seek out adventure, grow up to be each others best friends and one thing that Daryl really looked forward to was when the girls would become adults, get together and laugh about him.

I really like this next picture, it says to me all of the blood, sweat and tears literally from both sides (parent/child) are worth it when on a special day like this you see their joy! I know that Daryl is thinking he is a lucky Dad as he looks at his girls.

One of our girls got away with calling Daryl the biggest jerk in the world! I remember when this happened, and yes she was a teenager, but after she said it, I quickly looked at Daryl.
He was quiet and just looked at her. There was a pause (ie space) During the pause (ie space) I remember thinking, she is going to get in SO much trouble. What happened next was very surprising. Daryl said, "It's okay if you call me that." Later when he and I were alone, I asked him why he let her talk that way to him? He said to me. "Why didn't you defend me?" That was something I got use to Daryl doing, answering a question with a question :) This was the perfect question because we had worked hard applying the advice given from the book, The Art of Giving and Receiving criticism. I took this as an opportunity that he was giving me permission to be critical and I said to him,  I supported her, I thought you were being a jerk too. He said, "Well, there's your answer." This story illustrates one of my most favorite quotes..."Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." I believe it was Viktor Frankl who said that and it communicates a key piece of mindfulness, something that Daryl worked hard to achieve. 

A few years later when Erika was living in DC (this may sound like Erika was the one that called him a jerk, I'm not naming names:) Remember... Daryl always encouraged the girls to speak their mind!  Below is an email we received from her. I asked if I could share and she agreed along with Daryl's reply.



Hello hello lovely parents!

Currently I am taking an Old Testament institute class and today we studied the 10 commandments. During this lesson we talked specifically about the commandment "honor thy father and thy mother" and we were talking about ways that we can do this and the thought came to mind why don't I just ask them. So that is my question to you: how can I honor you guys more?

Being out here in DC I have been thinking a lot about my relationships with family and friends and I am trying to be better at improving those relationships that I have. The stake conference that we had last weekend was full of wonderful gems about unconditional love and viewing people the way Christ would. I especially loved President Monson's talk about realizing people's potential.

I love you both so much and I so grateful for our family! You guys did a pretty great job at raising 4 wonderful daughters. We all turned out pretty well if I do say so myself. ;) I am so grateful for the Atonement and the role that it plays in making good relationships great!

I would love to hear back from you! Xoxox

PS I miss you guys a ton! Can't wait to see you!
-- 

Erika K. Norton

My Oldest Daughter,

How do you honor me that warms my heart?  When you help your younger sisters understand that they should learn from your experiences and treat me with more love and respect.

I feel honored when you want me to do my best and are truly interested in what is going on in my life - - especially when it is difficult times and I come to you for your opinion because I truly believe you will have good input.

Your strivings for excellence set an example not only for me but for you sisters.  I feel very storng that Alexa will be going on a mission 100% because of you.  Natasha, certianly you had influence and would not have goine without you going.

Your strong desire to create good relationships within our family is appreciated.

I love you,

Daryl Norton

Daryl served in the Peru, Arequipa mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints from 1981-1983 while he was there we wrote to each other. Below is an excerpt from one of his letters.  

Life is a miracle and a gift. He really wanted our girls to know that home was truly a place of safety and love.  A quote that Daryl liked "It's easier to build strong children than repair broken adults."  Frederick Douglas