I Love To See You Laugh

Experts say "laughter is good medicine, a good belly laugh triggers the production of endorphins, the brain's feel-good neurotransmitters. It also relaxes your blood vessels and increases blood flow -- the ideal antidote to tension." I love a good laugh but I remember the day Daryl transitioned from this life, there were two thoughts that came into my mind, both very unrealistic but they were there and it was my reality. The first was, I don't think I will ever eat again and the second was I don't think I will ever laugh again. I felt similar in 2013 after my Dad transitioned then three years later in 2016 when my Mom transitioned. One of the symptoms of grief that I'm sure most people can relate to. The first time I did laugh after each loss I was surprised and equally surprised at the next feeling of guilt.

 I grew up in a family where there was a lot of laughter. My Dad and Mom were both very funny in different ways. My Dad had somewhat of a sarcastic yet not mean sense of humor along with a quick wit. He had a lot of interesting life experiences he shared with us that we never grew tired of hearing because he was such a great story teller and the circumstances he found himself in were very funny to us. My mom could find humor in different situations, she was comfortable laughing at herself and able  to help us do the same, so she was a bit of a tease! We played a lot of practical jokes in my family so it made sense to me when I had a family of my own, the tradition would live on.

It took a while for Daryl to accept this side of me. On one occasion I had won a watch from a radio station.  It was a man's watch, not very stylish in fact it was pretty cheap looking so I thought it would be funny to wrap it up and give it to Daryl as a welcome home present after he had been gone on his mission serving the people of Peru for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That joke backfired! I presented it to him in front of my family and of course he politely thanked me for the gift. I laughed and told him it was a joke and now he was the complete center of attention which he didn't want. I almost thought it was going to be a deal breaker for both of us. It was a sore subject for years until one day Daryl told me he wanted me to be able to be my authentic self and he loved to see me laugh. I had also realized the poor timing of that joke so it was nice to have a better understanding of each other. 

He was a good sport from then on allowing me to play my pranks on him. I could tell if a prank would go over well if I could fool Daryl. One April Fools day I dressed up in this crazy outfit with a wig to go to a neighbors house who happened to be the Salt Lake County Treasure posing as a write in candidate. My story was going to be if I could just get enough signatures I would be able to attend the city council meeting that was coming up. I had even printed off a petition for a write in candidate. I had signed other neighbors names who surrounded their home. Before I went to my friends home, who the prank was intended for I stopped at my house to see if I could fool Daryl. I rang the doorbell. When he answered and I said hello in a disguised voice, I thought for sure he would know it was me. He looked at me and said "Can I help you?" I started to laugh, he shook his head in laughter and said I had no idea who you were. 

 He was the funny one though. His humor was more witty and natural than mine. One time we invited two couples over from our neighborhood for dinner and games. After they arrived and right before we ate, he thanked them for coming to our home and told them after we ate, he was going to show them a presentation for a new MLM company he was involved in. I knew it was a joke but was taken off guard and made me laugh.

He was able to get to a place where he could laugh at himself too! One time we were on a family trip to Zion National Park, the girls were little and we had just finished a hike and sat down on a log. As we got up the girls and I noticed that Daryl had sat in some gum. We all had a good laugh about that! 

Those times when laughter irrupts make such great memories and lend to fun stories for years to come. No more guilt, because laughter is good medicine and that's what Daryl and my parents loved seeing me do! I am reminded of a phrase from the song On the Radio by Regina Spektor "you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh" either way produces the same endorphins that help me along my healing grief journey. 

I know Happy April Fools Day is not a national holiday, but it has always been a fun day my family has fond memories of. I hope you have been reminded to laugh a little today and every day!